Tuesday, September 30, 2014

He's Just Not Into You

Hey Loves,


So I came across an article on Huffington post talking about a "social experiment" video made by Simple Pickup on Youtube. The video is called Fat Girl Tinder Date (Social Experiment). The video basically follows a woman as she dresses in a fat suit to go on dates with men she met on Tinder. And the basis is to expose the fact them men, dislike, are not attracted to and generally don't want plus size women. Now before you get up in arms, there is one major component of the this social experiment video that sort of skews all the way left. In her profile pictures the woman is slender and well toned. And that is how she portrayed herself to these men. So as I was watching the video I couldn't help be side with the guys on this one. The men she met up with were expecting to meet the woman in the pictures. Not a plus size girl. Thus being quite surprised that she mis-represented herself.


What Sara Actually Looks Like
Now of course it's youtube, so you know the comment section boasted comments that ranged from hilarious to down right rude. Me personally I don't think that the men were in the wrong. And here's why. I truly believe we all have a preference as to what we find attractive in the opposite sex. I think that is something we're all entitled to as human beings. Me personally I like big dark skin men. That's not say that skinny light skin men are ugly, they just aren't what I want. So for a man to say he doesn't want a plus size girl or that he doesn't find her attractive doesn't mean we get to make him the villain. Hun you may not be what he is attracted to, and that is okay.


I feel like in this plus movement sometimes we go so hard to get people to to love us and our body that the second we come across people who are open about the fact that the plus size body isn't their particular preference, we tend to get up in arms, feel somewhat slighted, & ready to scream fat shamer. Truthfully she catfished these men. She posted pictures online as a skinny woman, she baited them, then show up to the date in a fat suit (a horrible fat suit at that) and she expected them to welcome her with open arms. Like she looked COMPLETELY different in person. I know if I was talking to a guy that was tall, dark & built like a football player, & when we finally meet, he's 5'0 tall, 110 pounds & ultra scrawny, I wouldn't be happy. 

Sometimes ladies, men just aren't attracted to plus size women. And that is really okay. The same way we as plus size women have our preferences. We may or may not like big guys. We may or may not like skinny guys, or guys with facial hair, or tall men, or short men. As long as they or we aren't rude about it then leave it be because I guarantee there are men out there that absolutely love a plus size woman and all that she has to offer.

Watch the video below and let me know your thoughts.

xoxo
Shay


Monday, September 22, 2014

Embarassed to Eat in Public

Hey Loves,


After my post about my experience with bullying and confidence (check it out here), I got some really awesome feedback. And some of you have been more open to asking for advice or my opinion on different topics or situations that you're dealing with. I love that you want to ask my opinion, and that I'm not alone in some of the situations that I've dealt with. Now this particular post was inspired by a question I received from one of my followers on tumblr. Her situation compelled me to come and write this post. 

She wrote me asking if I ever felt awkward or embarrassed as a plus size girl & eating in public. She said to me that a lot of times when she goes out with her friends, she is always very hyper-aware of the food she would order, so she wouldn't seem like the fat girl. After reading her question I immediately felt sad for her. Going to dinner with your girlfriends should be something a girl looks forward to. I know when my besties & plan a dinner date, I can't wait to go out and act up with the 2 of them. As a young woman or a mature woman, you should look forward to meeting up with your besties. You should look forward to grabing some food, a few drinks (if you're old enough) and just enjoy yourself. You should not have to force yourself into an anxiety attack worrying about whether or not people are eyeing you and your plate just because you're the fat girl.


Honestly, you all know me, my 1st reaction was like "girl you betta eat your damn food and stop worrying about other people" But it did get me to thinking about how many plus size girls go through this problem? They're wanting to be carefree when eating in public but always feel like the outside world is scrutinizing them just because they're a plus size girl.. For me I never gave something like this a 2nd thought. I feel like dammit if I'm hungry, I'm getting food and I'm eating. I feel like if you are not the one paying for my food, then what I eat, how I eat, or how much I eat is none of your business. But I understand why she would feel the way she does. Think about it, how often do we see on the news when people are talking about bad eating habits of Americans, the image we see are always fat people chewing on a burger or drinking from a super gulp? How & what plus size people eat are constantly under a microscope

So to the young lady that wrote me, no I don't have a problem eating in public. I shouldn't have to wait until I get home to eat. Nor should you. If you're out with your friends, and you all get hungry, you should feel well within your rights to eat whatever it is you have a taste for. I challenge you, the next time you and your girls go to dinner, get EXACTLY what you want, and I challenge you to ENJOY that dish. Take a bite for me.

Have you ever felt self conscious about eating in pubic? Let me know!


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Plus Size Confidence; My Story


Hey loves,
This post I decided to write because I get this question A LOT! Most of you have asked me 'How am I so Confident?' Or ' Where does my confidence come from?' I'm sure you've read hundreds of article online on how to be more confident. But this is a little different. I want to share part of my confidence journey because believe me, becoming the confident young I am right now wasn't easy and definitely did not happen over night. Sometimes society wants us to believe that being plus size & confident shouldn't be in the same sentence, but I'm here to let you know that it is possible. I am a living testament.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Pink is the New Black

Boohoo Plus Pink Cape, Leopard Print Skirt, Chanel Bag, Black Pumps

Hey Loves,

I absolutely could NOT wait to get this post up for you guys. Wrapping up fashion week last week, this outfit was just to perfect not to wear. A huge thank you goes out to Isaiah Johnson from A Collected Gentleman for taking this amazing shots. He really is a fantastic photographer. And blogger to blogger he took my vision and really brought it to life. If you are near the Indianapolis area, be sure to reach out to him for some fantastic pictures.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Leopard with a Midi Skirt!

Leopard Print Crop top plus size midi skirt oxblood wedges
Hey Loves,

I'm sure you know the NYFW is in full swing. I didn't have many plans this season. But one event that I was quite excited to attend was Plus Night Out. The only plus size fashion event during NYFW. Even with my long days at work then trucking to the city for different reasons It was all worth it. And you all know having a reason to get dressed and take pictures is fun. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

Denim on Denim

denim on denim outfit
Hey Loves,
So this is yet another weekend look I just threw together but actually liked. I've been really wanting to do a denim on denim look for the longest, but really didn't have the right jeans to pull it together. All my skinny jeans just didn't cut it. So while I was laying around the house on Sunday, I decided to play a little dress up. It's not the most creative, but I like it.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Keep it Casual

plus size boyfriend jeans
Hey Loves,

I figured I would throw this post up. I was kind of feeling myself when I shot this outfit. Really my hair was the inspiration for this look. I had the pleasure of walking in the 1st Brooklyn Night Out Fashion Show and the hairstylist gave me this AMAZING hair style. She slayed this look in like 20 minutes. So before I took it down, I had to shoot an outfit with it.