Every now & again I like to share a bit of myself with you guys. This post was inspired by a sign I saw the other day. It was advertising the annual girls' basketball summer camp held at my high school. It immediately brought back TONS of memories both good and bad. You may or may not know I played basketball for 4 years in high school. I played close to 10 months a year. My school team went from November to March then AAU went from April to August. Basically my life was consumed by basketball. It left little time to do any other sports or after school activities. Something I can honestly regret now. I wanted to do other sports or other things in school but I was constantly reminded that if it interfered with basketball, it was out of the question.
I'll be honest I was not a good player. Which always shocked people. People were always surprised that at my height & body size I wasn't one of the best players on the team. My parents tried to get me help, they made sure I got help in the off season or during the summer. But I never took it seriously. I never wanted to get better on my own. I never took the initiative to go out on my time & work on my game. I found every excuse as to why I couldn't get better. I would say that "everyone else had brothers to practice with" or "their parents play so they can help" For the life of me I couldn't understand why I didn't want to get better. I question why didn't I have the passion. Why couldn't I be like my teammates; Jade, Emily, or Megan, who lived & breath the game. So many of teammates would get to practice early to get some extra practice time. They would be at the park on the weekends getting better. They would join the boys summer league & play against the best boys so they could get better. And me, well I couldn't care less about practicing in my own.
I can distinctly remember my mother saying to me on MULTIPLE occasions "your goal is to get a basketball scholarship" She drilled that into my head time & time again. In retrospect I knew deep in my heart that she wanted that scholarship not me. All I would do at the time is just shake my head yes hoping that with time I would convince myself to want it as much as she did. Funny enough, even though deep down I knew that basketball wasn't something I wanted to do, I was still scouted by a number of division 2 & division 3. Even had some real interest from Harvard University. I would be lying if I said I didn't consider playing ball for Harvard. I mean let's be real college is expensive and if I could take some of that burden off my parents, why not. Right?! However when I really sat with myself and thought about if another 4 years of giving my life to basketball was something I wanted, I found myself feeling lost, feeling confused & empty. Especially when my teammates were getting excited about what teams were scouting them. Sometimes I look back on my relationships with my teammates, I wasn't the best teammate. I was often reclusive & never felt like I fit in. And as much as I want to blame that on my teammates, I just can't. You're involved in something that you knew never cared about in the first place, you don't make a great teammate. That was my reality at that point.
But in the middle of all that, that's when it hit me that basketball just wasn't my passion. Now at 26 years old I have come to terms with the fact that basketball was NEVER my passion. I didn't care enough about the sport to go out of my way to get better. I didn't care enough to bust my ass to get a scholarship. Because I knew then, even if I didn't recognize it, that I was only playing basketball because that's what a girl my size was SUPPOSE to do. At 6 feet 200+ pounds, you play basketball. You don't do anything else.
Why is this relevant now? Why is something from high school so prevalent in my adult? It's simple, my choice to not play in college was me taking some sort of control over my life. That is something I'm making a point to do now as an adult. We hear it all the time, we're suppose to get a job when school is over (regardless of whether or not it's what you went to school even like) your happiness is not a factor because you have to get a job to play bills. You take anything cause real life waits for no one.
When I made the choice to become a full time blogger, I was scared out of my mind because I didn't know how I would pay my bills. There were a number of people that I didn't tell because I knew they would try their best to dissuade me from doing what felt I was meant to do. And when you're about to make a major life choice like that, the last thing you need or want is someone drilling into your head all the wrong that can happen. Blogging isn't practical to some people because I don't go to an office from 9-5 Monday through Friday. Sure in the beginning the cash flow isn't always reliable, but I've never been happier. Why? Because I stop doing what I was SUPPOSE to do & starting doing what I was MEANT to do. While it isn't easy, sometimes miserable, thankless & I'm constantly hustling with no guarantees. Its totally worth it because I'm living & planning my according to what God has for me.
Even though I never like playing basketball, it's a part of my story and I'm grateful for my experiences. And I say all of this to say, sometimes in order to find your happiness you have to stop doing what you're suppose to do and do what you're meant to do.
See you in my next post.
Some of you may or may not know, one of my favorite cosmetic brands is Kiko Cosmetics. I first heard about them about 2 years ago when they opened a store in the mall near me. I fell in love with saw the prices point for many of their products. I've spent soooooo much money in that store it's almost embarrassing. One of my favorite mascaras is from Kiko and it was worth every bit of the $9 I paid for it. But this post is all about their latest limited summer collection. Based off the packaging, I'm sure it's an amazing collection.
Yes summer is making it's way. I'm impatiently waiting for warm weather. But I know I want to be prepared for when it gets here. If you're like me, you love a good summer dress. One that's fun, bright, bold and colorful. And one place to find dresses that has all these options is one of my favorite places to shop; Gwynnie Bee. If you interested in trying out Gwynnie Bee, you can sign up for a 30 day trial click here. I promise you won't regret it, so let's take a look at some of the options.
Aren't these fun?! Gwynnie Bee is an awesome site that carries many of your favorite brands as well as their own in-house brands. If you're still trying to decide if you want to give Gwynnie Bee a try, sign for a 30 day trial, see how you like it. See you all in my next post!
I'm happy to posting about another independent plus designer. I've heard about Yona NY a few times via Facebook. So when they reached out to me to style a dress I said sure. If you've followed for sometime you know I like to show the multiples way of wearing certain items in your closet. Cause I know I'm a girl on budget and if I can get 2 or 3 looks out of a 1 dress, it's a great purchase.
Most of you should know that when it comes to workout gear or active wear, I love super cute options. Noting wrong with basic black or basic sweat pants, but I feel like if I'm gonna be on a stair master with my legs burning and I'm dripping sweat, I at least want to have cute clothes on lol. Vain I know but that's totally ok. Full Beauty has become one of my favorite places to buy active wear because I know the fit is going to be great and I'll have some fun options to choose from.
Fresh off the heels of Coachella and with a host of other summer festivals on the way, I'm sure many of you are trying to figure out what to pack and wear while out & about. Because I know I am. Afropunk I'm coming for you!!! For this post I teamed out with Neiman Marcus Last Call to bring you a couple festival ready outfits. Let's take a look.